OK, I know this Buzzfeed video had been shredded by many, many YouTubers, but I still wanted to have some fun answering the questions. After all, I have the main qualification – having a penis and two testicles!
Without further introduction, lets answer the questions asked by the Buzzfeed women:
1. How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump?
Nothing special. Trump is a pompous, racist asshole and the only thing we have in common is that both of us were born with dick and balls.
On the same line… How does it feel to be the same sex as Sarah “Dumbest Bitch on Earth” Palin?
2. Why do you hate Rom Coms?
I don’t hate romantic comedies… I simply don’t like them. They tend to be predictable as hell – and I don’t like predictability.
3. Everybody likes The Notebook. Everybody likes Beyonce…
What the fuck is The Notebook? A romantic comedy? Had not seen it…
I like Beyonce, but I am not a fan of her music. She is hot, can dance, and she is a decent performer, but I don’t listen to pop or R&B.
4. Why do you make women sit around and talk about men in movies when you all easily sit around and talk about boobs for hours?
Because in real life, women can talk shit about men for hours. I know, I grew up surrounded by women. Also from experience, men can only talk about boobs for a few minutes before moving on to other topics like cars, sports, video games, or politics.
5. Why do you automatically assume that you won’t like TV or movies that star a female lead?
I don’t, but in my experience, TV series and movies with female leads are usually made with women as their market. I’m not a woman, so these movies and TV series don’t attract me. I give them a chance though… I liked Serenity, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and other series that were not romantic comedies.
6. Why are you surprised when women are funny?
7. Why do you think we’re obsessed with you after we hook up?
I don’t do hook ups, so I don’t know – and I don’t care!
8. Why can’t I sleep with as many people as I want to without being judged? When men do it, they’re congratulated
Personally, you can sleep with whoever you want. Still, remember that men don’t get pregnant to trap a partner with a good economic position, neither are they in Maury asking for DNA tests to find who the fuck is the father of the kid. Also, being promiscuous is a bad idea regardless of your gender.
9. Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you on the first date?
A woman is a tease only if she spends the whole date giving me the idea that we are going to have hot sex by the end of the date – and then shutting me off. If she does that on the first date, she is a tease, if she does it by the third date, she is a tease. Of course, if we have sex at the end of the first awkward date, she is probably promiscuous – and I don’t like that…
10. In what world does No mean Yes?
In the world where you are saying No while grabbing my crotch. Honestly, be clear – tell me no and I will respect it. Telling me no while twerking and grinding my erected little friend means that you are undecided… or don’t want to look like you are a slut.
11. Why do you say that women are too emotional to be leaders- then justify cat calling by saying that men can’t control themselves?
I had never doubted that women can be leaders. Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, and many other women had shown that when you are smart and intelligent (similar, but not the same thing), you can be a great leader. On the other hand, you have women like Sarah Palin.
Catcalling has nothing to do with emotions – it has to do with being horny. We are following a biological queue – calling the attention of a potential mate-, not following an emotion.
12. Why do you think that just because you’re nice to me , you’re entitled to my body?
Because it depends on the definition of “being nice”. If the definition of being nice is holding the door open for you, offering to carry something for you, and / or inviting you to a $30 meal, no, I am not entitled to your body. Maybe a “Thank you” and a smile, but nothing more…
On the other hand, if “being nice” means spending the equivalent of a week’s salary on you (lets say more than $200 if you are on minimum wage), then I am entitled to a blowjob. BTW, I’m not being sexist or misogynist – a blowjob where I live cost just $50 from a pro… and I don’t have to dress up or deal with any of her shit. Just saying…
13. Why would you ever send an unsolicited dick pic?
I had never done a dick pic – either unsolicited or requested. My little friend is not too photogenic…
14. Why do you feel that it’s OK to harass women or make offensive comments about women, but when somebody does it to your sister it’s not OK?
It is not OK to harass women or make offensive comments about women in general. I have a mother after all. But women need to stop expecting men to “white knight” for them. Feminism taught us that women had rights, a voice, and the control of their bodies… now YOU need to start defending yourself when YOU feel offended. YOU earned that.
15. How does it feel to interrupt me when –
The same way it feels when I interrupt my male friends. I’m just trying to save you from embarrasment from the stupidity you were going to say. You’re welcomed!
16. Why do you have to sit with your legs so wide open?
Because, as I wrote HERE, I have balls. When compressed, balls hurt like a motherfucker and that compression can lead to side effects like infections, capillary breaks, and even impotence. And no, your boobs are not the same. In fact, my balls are ten times more sensitive that your breasts. Does it hurt when you squeeze your tits? Yeah? Now multiply that pain by ten times and you get an idea of why I don’t want to squeeze my balls.
17. Why are women perceived as the weaker sex?
Because you are physically weaker than men. Our bone structure is different, our muscular density is different, and even the way we generate muscle is different. Women have more pain tolerance than men, so don’t complain that much…
18. Why is it so bad to show your emotions?
Because in our society, I will be perceived as either weak, gay, retarded, or even a pervert depending on what emotion I am displaying. And BTW, most of the people judging me will be WOMEN!
19. Why are you always trying to prove your masculinity to me?
How am I trying to prove my masculinity? By not showing emotions? By fighting for you? By grabbing my junk every 5 seconds? I don’t know what you mean with this… I have nothing to prove…
20. Why the fuck isn’t it ladylike to cuss? When did words get genders?
Because cussing without a good reason is rude and denotes a lack of vocabulary and education – no matter your gender. Didn’t you learn that in the fucking shitty school you went? I’m assuming you did go to school…
21. Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who have been sexually violated or raped?
Because, unfortunately for real rape victims, enough women had used sexual crimes to falsely accuse innocent men and destroy their lives. I tend to believe women until they don’t want to go to the hospital and get tested, fill out a police report within an acceptable amount of time (say, two months instead of 2 or 40 years), and don’t go to the media years after the fact or create a “performance” to denounce the act. That’s why…
22. Why do you assume a woman is angry because she’s on her period?
Because I get angry when I am in pain, and I know that women in their period get inflammation,physical pain, hormonal changes, and to add, they have the worry of bleeding their clothes. Betting them on being angry is totally logical.
23. Why do you think women that wear makeup are false advertising? We could say the same thing about your dick size
Because some women use so much makeup that it completely changes their faces. Add false eyelashes, pushup bras, padded bras, padded panties, jeans to raise the ass, high heels (which changes your posture, improving the look of your ass), corsets, wigs, colored contacts, and fake nails… how can’t we not be talking about false advertisement? My dick size is not false advertisement. I don’t use any special underwear to improve the look of my package, neither use filled socks or packers. What you grab is what you will get… just remember to rub it a few times to wake him up!
24. Why isn’t it weird that there’s a bunch of old white men sitting in a room making legislation about what I can and can’t do with my body?
It is not weird because, at least in the USA, we VOTE for those people. Did you vote? You had at least two chances to pick someone else – primaries and elections. Again, did you vote? Because I did…
25. Do you have a coochie?
Are you blind or simply dumb? If by coochie you are referring to a vagina, obviously I don’t have one. I’m a guy. You knew that when you started to ask questions, did you? Or you forgot already?
26. Why are straight guys so obsessed with Lesbians?
I’m not obsessed, but I would watch them going on while choking my little friend. It depends on how attractive I find these lesbians. If they look like Scarlett Johanson, Sofia Vergara, Beyonce, Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek, or Adele (chubby or thin, she is beautiful), I’m game. If they look like Rosie O’Donell , or like Chewbacca with tits, I don’t want anything with them. I’m shallow, I know…
27. How does it feel to get kicked in the balls?
See # 16. Don’t want to scroll to the top? I got you…
Squeeze your breasts and pinch your nipples. Hard. Now ask someone to slap your tits as hard as they can. Did it hurt? Yeah? Now multiply that pain by ten times and you get an idea of how it feels when a man is kicked in the balls.
28. Do you ever get tired of trying to be manly all the time?
Nope. I’m a man. Being manly is what I do. If you want to save 15% on car insurance go to the gecko company. That’s what they do…
29. Why are you so afraid of gender equality?
I’m not. In fact, I believe in equality. Equal rights = Equal duties. See?
30. Why do I deserve to be paid less than you?
You don’t – given we are doing the EXACT same job, having the EXACT same qualifications, under the EXACT same conditions.
31.In what world does 77 cents equal a dollar? In what world does 68 cents equal a dollar? How is that fair?
In a world were you are comparing averages of two completely different populations. The salary gap you mention is a misinterpretation of statistics. We could use that comparison if we were talking about the SAME jobs, requiring the SAME qualifications, under the SAME conditions. Unfortunately, they were not doing that comparison. When compared right, the difference is less than 3 cents of every dollar – usually because the men receives better bonuses for additional performance.
32. Why are you intimidated by a woman that makes more money than you?
I’m not. My last two girlfriends made more money – too bad they both lost their jobs in the porn industry.
33. Why are opinionated women seen as bitches, when opinionated men are seen as bosses.
Is not about the opinion, is about how it is delivered.
34. Why aren’t you speaking up when you hear your male friends behind closed doors making jokes that are offensive to women?
Because usually, the women in the room are laughing.
35. Why are you afraid of recognizing your own privilege? It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person just recognize it and do something about it.
Privilege? Let’s see… I am an Afro-Caribbean Latino fat man in my 40’s who has Spanish as his first language. I had been denied jobs that I was totally qualified to perform because of my name. I had been assumed to be ignorant because I have an accent – even when I have graduate degrees in two different fields. Women don’t want to date me because I am too fat for them. Where is my privilege?
Honestly, if these are the questions women have for men, I stay with my toys. At least my dolls don’t ask stupid questions…
BTW, Happy International MGTOW Day!