Article: Are You Addicted To Sex / Porn?

On St. Valentine’s Day, I tweeted about purchasing a new 100 cm doll from my friends at SiliDolls.com:

On Monday, I received an email from a female friend of mine, worried about my “sex addiction”. Hey, I know she has good intentions and everything – but I do not have an addiction to sex toys or even to masturbation. Why I say that? Lets see…

There are symptoms

For you to be addicted to ANYTHING, you need to have certain symptoms. Depending on what type of addiction we are talking, the symptoms will vary, but in general you will have the following:

  • You will use the drug, item , or activity in excess.
  • You will have a craving for the drug, item, or activity.
  • Your use of the drug or item (or participation in activity) keeps growing, indicating tolerance to it.
  • You get withdrawal symptoms – headaches, irritability, nausea, sickness.
  • Your need of the drug, item, or activity has a negative effect on your work, social, and personal lives.
  • You feel ashamed or guilty after getting your fix.
  • You don’t think about the consequences of your actions to get your fix.

These symptoms are common to all addictions, no matter if we are talking to drugs, behaviors, or items. You need to be suffering some sort of negative consequences due to your actions – either financial, physical, or emotional.

My personal take on these symptoms.

So, am I addicted to sex? Or porn? Or sex toys? Let’s see by checking my behavior to the basic symptoms mentioned before:

Excess of activity

I do admit I have TOO MANY sex toys. Between the Fleshlights, meikis, dolls, and other masturbation paraphernalia, my apartment looks like two shades away from being featured in Hoarders: Kinky Edition. But I can justify it – after all, I have been reviewing these things for six years and they accumulate. Selling used sex toys is a big NO, NO, NO unless the toys are made of silicone and I had been using every single toy reviewed on this blog.

But have this accumulation of rubber pussies increased my porn use? Or my masturbatory habits? The answer is no to both. I have been masturbating on a daily basis since my teens. A few years ago I was scared that my growing collection of fake vaginas was increasing my masturbation frequency, so I kept a log for a whole year. What did I discover? That I was masturbating 1.5 times per day – basically, the same rate I did when I was in my 20’s… about 20 years ago!

Cravings

I don’t crave ejaculating unless I spend more than a week without cumming by whatever mean. Still, this is a need I have since I discovered how good it felt to shoot sperm. So, no major difference…

Withdrawal symptoms

The only withdrawal symptoms I get when I don’t masturbate in more than a week are raging morning boners. I don’t get more irritable or depressed, or physically ill. I could miss my dolls after being without them for weeks – just as I miss my bed or my favorite non-humping pillow.

Negative effect on daily life

Besides being slightly tired by the end of the week, my “addiction” has not affected my daily activities on a negative way. I have a full time day job, have a series of hobbies, and keep a small but true group of friends. Yes, there is a big hole in my wallet – about $3k per year – but the money I spend per year is nothing compared to the money guys of my age spend in other “hobbies”.

Shame and guilt after masturbating

None at all. NEXT!

Still will do her…

Not thinking about consequences

I masturbate / have sex behind closed doors and windows. I can be kinky and all, but I don’t like to exhibit myself, neither I like to showcase my life. My sexual life is mine – I barely speak about it, not because I am ashamed, but because I believe it is something private. After all, why the fuck you think I use a mask for my reviews?

So, am I a sex / porn addict?

Based on these symptoms and my answers, no I’m not. Still, I have to admit it made me think about the possibilities. I know I had always been interested in sex, and been attracted to kinky experiences, but I had been always in control of my impulses and desires. I had even checked how much money I had spent on my sex toys and in average it is about $2,800 per year. The funny thing? Going out on a date in NYC where I live, could easily cost me  $8,000 per year. Having a couple of beers every weekend on a nearby bar? About $5,000 per year. So, my “addiction” cost me less than dining out with a friend on a weekly basis or having a couple of beers on the weekends. I am sooo fucked up!

Now, this is serious shit…

OK, I made a little fun about sex / porn addiction, but as Terry Crews reminded us know this week, porn and sex addiction is very real and can be extremely damaging to your daily life. If you start watching porn in the evening and you are still tugging your little friend at dawn, you should seek help. If you find yourself getting in debt because you subscribed to porn sites, or hired a bunch of escorts, or can’t stop buying expensive fetish items, you need help. If you are getting in hot water at job with harassment cases, or lost your job because you can’t stop sending dick pics (yes Carlos Danger, I’m talking to you), you need help. If you find yourself at risk of losing your job, being divorced, or going to jail because of your sexual behavior, please seek some help. Learn to enjoy sex in a responsible and sensible way… after all, sex should be enjoyed, not feared…

Now, let me go back to watch my next marathon of Gang-banged Barely Legal Coed  Drenched in Cum… I just bought the whole 345, 9-hours DVD collection! 🙂

 

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