NOTE: This is the first of three articles I wrote about things that bother me in both online and “real” interactions I have with others. Since my views are often contrary to the PC rules of the social circles I frequent, I decided to vent out in my own corner of the Web. Read it, comment it, critique it if you want but be warned: I don’t give a fuck about your opinion about me. Enjoy.
I considered myself a feminist man until I moved to the USA. Why? Because American feminist are totally insane.
In Latin America, I am considered a liberal. I believe that everyone should be treated with respect, that everyone should be given equal access to education and labor opportunities, and that everyone should be paid fairly. I believe that women deserve the right of being given the same opportunities, chances, and legal treatment than men. I believe both men and women have the right of improving their skills and challenge themselves to be better every single day. I believe that legally, both men and women should be treated fairly and in equal grounds – same rights, same responsibilities.
Apparently, American feminists decided to throw away the responsibilities part…
Since I moved to the USA, I have seen example after example of feminism used as a punishing ideology against men instead of as an empowering ideology for women. Instead of continue the fight for REAL rights such as voting, owning property, access to higher education, and control over their reproductive system – most of them already won more than 30 years ago – , modern American feminists (a.k.a. “third wave feminists”) have been dedicated to simply demonizing men and trying to eliminate the idea of manhood / masculinity from society .
Examples? Let me show you a few:
Recently, American media has been flooded with alleged rape cases in colleges. As soon as a female student screams “I was raped!” the media makes a whole show, colleges and universities establish required courses / contracts and even establish procedures to kick out the alleged perpetrator. Reporters and activists make a whole parade repeating different variations of “rape culture” and even celebrities get into the fold, making videos and PSAs against rape culture.
Hey, I’m 100% in favor of punishing criminals. Rape is a horrible crime that damages the victim both physically and psychologically, sometimes permanently. Rape victims should not be blamed (they are victims) and should be provided with all the preventive protection (to avoid the rape) and with all the possible support after the rape.
My problem is that all this “rape culture” talk is based on hoaxes and false allegations.
Lets be honest here. I AM NOT SAYING THAT COLLEGE RAPE DOES NOT HAPPEN. It does happen, but not as the media likes to repeat. In fact ALL the recent, much publicized cases of college rape had been PROVED false…
Duke University case (2006) – FALSE. The accuser made up the story. A man lost his job, three young men had their futures destroyed and the accuser never faced any charge.
The Hofstra University case (2009) – FALSE. A student accused 5 male students of gang raping her. Good thing someone decided to record a video of the orgy, showing the gangbang had been consensual. The girl admitted she did not want to be known as a slut.
The University of Virginia case (2014) – FALSE. The “victim” made up the whole story and the reporter did not bother to check the “victim’s” version. Neither interviewed the alleged rapists.
Columbia College Mattress Girl case (2014-2015) – Apparently FALSE. This girl claims to be raped 8 months after the event, the alleged rapist is exonerated by the unfair college process (only the alleged victims versions were allowed), then she decides to do a performance project for her thesis by carrying around campus the mattress where she was “raped”. She is hailed by media and politicians although there is no evidence against the “rapist”. In 2015, the alleged rapist sued Columbia College, presenting as evidence transcripts of intimate text exchanges with his “victim” AFTER the “rape”. And lets not forget, the “victim” re-enacted the traumatic experience in a “performance video” in June 2015.
Guys being falsely accused of rape have their records blemished, their careers destroyed, and their lives threatened – all because the woman accusing them maybe regretted having sex with them, was rejected by the guy, or simply was afraid of being considered a slut. The false accusers rarely get any punishment…
And by the way, the 1 in 5 college rape”statistic” is bogus – according to the author of the study feminist like to quote.
My suggestions to feminists:
- Teach PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. For some weird reason, telling people to take responsibility of their own actions is prohibited in the USA. Feminists should teach young women to AVOID becoming victims – have personal safety in mind when walking around, knowing their limits when drinking, avoid going with a guy right after meeting him because “he is soo cute”. Ladies, please take care of yourselves!
- Help creating a less humiliating process to gather evidence. One of the reasons many women decline to report rape cases is the humiliating process – from gathering evidence with a rape kit to facing the rapist in court. But why modern feminists have not developed a new, dignified process? This is 2015, we have very smart women in the engineering, sciences, law enforcement, and law making areas. Why do we still have an invasive, humiliating, and awful process to PROVE such horrible crimes? C’mon, the ball is in YOUR court…
I had been living in New York City for the past 10 years and use public transportation every single day. I was surprised by the Web reaction when the MTA (the agency operating the subways and buses in NYC) started their “manners” campaign in January of 2015. The biggest reaction was against “manspreading” or the way men seat with knees apart.
There is a simple reason why sitting with both knees together is difficult for adult men. In fact, there are two reasons: WE HAVE TESTICLES! For those of you without them, testicles (a.k.a. balls, nuts, pelotas, cojones, grapefruits, and many, many other names) are extremely sensitive and hurt like hell when pressed or hit. Anyone with a pair knows that sitting with legs together press them too much and produces pain. Of course, the term was coined by a feminist in Tumblr back in 2013 and used it to “shame” guys for taking too much space.
The funny thing? As mentioned above, I use the MTA system every day – and 99.9% of the men riding it never sit spread eagle when the subway cars or the buses are full. In fact, most guys riding the buses and trains are better gentlemen than I am and offer their seats to standing women and even assist ladies carrying big packages or shopping carts. Also to be fair, the MTA campaign includes a total of 12 issues commonly seen in buses and trains – and about four of them apply mostly to women while the rest apply to both genders.
My suggestion to feminists:
Since you are so much into “gender neutrality”, the term manspreading should be considered sexist and discriminatory against both genders. After all, women can spread their legs way better than men. (Ooops! Did I go too far?)
I suggest the gender neutral term of crotch venting. Hey, #crotchventing should be trending!
Free the Nipple Movement
This is maybe the stupidest feminist ploy of them all…
Back in August 23, 2015 feminists marched in various cities demanding the right to walk around bare chested without being bothered just like guys do. There were demonstrations in different cities through the United States including the place I call home – New York City.
Why I call it a stupid ploy? First of all, walking on the streets exposing your chest is not a right – it is a cultural privilege. It is something this society we live in ALLOW us to do. In many countries, walking bare chested is considered something that only the lower classes do and it is bad taste regardless of the gender. In other societies, if you walk around exposing your chest you could get accused of indecent exposure – no matter if you are a man or a woman. By the way, in New York it is totally legal to walk exposing your whole chest.
I know feminists are going to say “But guys can walk exposing their chest without issues. If we do it, people take their cameras out and cat call us! It’s unfair!” And yes, I agree, it is unfair. But you have to remember that in THIS society, our chests are not the same. The chest of a man has no sexual connotation in our society while the chest of a woman has various connotations – one of them sexual. This is an issue rooted on Judeo-Christian religion, where nakedness and sex are seen (or interpreted) as sinful and negative aspects of our lives. That is why most indigenous tribes in Africa, Asia, and America don’t care about exposed breasts of their women. Here, we see a nipple in its natural state and we go all crazy…
Personally, I have no issues with women exposing their breasts in public. In fact, I LOVE seeing breasts free on the wild, specially when they are on their prime – when the woman exposing them is between 18 and 30 years old. After that, some lose some of their mystique, but still most are fun to observe, even more when they are happily bouncing…
My suggestions to feminists:
- Next time, do the demonstration city-wide. Hey, I live in NYC, but I did not see any freed nipple in The Bronx. Are you afraid of something? Next year, free those nipples all over the city (walking bare chested is legal in all 5 boroughs). In fact, it should be a Free the Nipple Week with parades in Harlem and Lower East Side (Manhattan), East New York and Crown Heights (Brooklyn), and of course my borough, The Bronx. I suggest starting right in front of the iconic Yankee Stadium and show your proud nipples all the way to the also iconic Bronx Zoo. Believe me, if you want to get attention to your cause, you WILL GET IT at The Bronx!
- Actively support the Desnudas in Time Square. Through this summer, there has been a public outcry to remove a group of half naked body painted young women posing for photos at Times Square. Some call them “liberated”, but most people – including so called feminist bloggers and magazines – have gone as far as calling them prostitutes. Does it have anything to do with the fact that they are Latinas? I don’t want to think that to get support from American feminist groups these women, earning their money with the sweat of their tetas, they had to be White and speak English. I really don’t want to think that…
Well, this has been a long post, but I needed to take this out of my chest…which I keep covered in public.