As I get more and more involved with social media, more and more people mention that there is not enough information on the web about male sex toys. The reality is that when you want info about the different brands and models of sex toys designed for men, there is very limited information out there. Besides the forums kept by some of the manufacturers / resellers, independent male sex toys blogs / websites are few and tend to disappear after a couple of posts. Why does that happen?
Well, after doing this for the past six years, I have an idea of the factors behind the low number of male sex toy reviewers on the Web…
NOTE: I normally prefer to use man instead of male. As you can read HERE, I believe that we should use the terms man and woman when referring to human adults males and females.
Factor 1: There is a huge social stigma on men talking anything related to sex.
Lets deal with the big elephant in the room first: It is not socially acceptable for men to talk about sex. If you are a man – especially if you are a heterosexual man that is not a physician – forget about talking anything related to sex (including sexual education). When you do, get ready for the backlash – from being labeled as a closeted gay to pedophile depending of what role you take in the sexual discussion.
That is if you are just talking about sex. If you are a man admitting the use of sex toys on a regular basis, prepare yourself to be ridiculed by both males and females in your life. You will be questioned about your sexuality, mental health, and success in life among many other things. You must get ready for the comments about how creepy you are because you have a collection of Fleshlights. Do you have sex dolls? You must have a mental problem. That small doll? You must be a pedophile. You fuck a plush toy? Motherfucker, you are sick!
The funniest part? Most of the criticism comes from the women in our lives. In my experience, the guys will make a few jokes about you, but soon afterwards they start asking questions about how the toy feels and even want to “try it themselves”. The women on the other hand are a lot less forgiving. Some make strong comments about how sexist I am, others want to make me choice between them and my dolls, others simply freak out and decide to never deal with me again.
Why do you think I use a mask for the video reviews?
Factor 2: There are less toys to review
Although in the past 5 years there has been an explosion in the number of online stores selling masturbation sleeves and sex dolls, still the number of toys is relatively small when compared with the number of toys designed for women. For every Fleshlight or meiki available in general sex toy stores, you have 4 models of dildos or vibrators. Now, I understand that in today’s market, SOME toys are designed to appear gender neutral, but as a designer, I have to tell that not all toys can be gender neutral. With the exception of anal toys, toys are designed with a vagina or a penis in mind – if you do not have the “right” equipment, the toy will not feel as intended. You still can use it, but not as intended…
As a man, I have a more limited pool of toys to review. The main categories of male sex toys are masturbation sleeves, sex dolls, and prostate massagers. Cock rings and penis pumps are technically sexual aids designed to maintain our erection, but are considered sex toys by most people. Even after adding those “toys”, reviewing them is often worthless because most of these toys are the same toy with a different external appearance. Most toys have one of three textures: ribs, nubs, or smooth. Even Fleshlight, with the myriad number of models, only recently had gone away from the typical ribs and bumps. Many product lines – like the Palm Pal series and many of the pocket pussies – are basically the same toy with a different entry orifice. Since the texture is EXACTLY the same, each product in the series feels EXACTLY the same. It is essentially the same toy…
Of course, this is changing in part thanks to the Internet. It is allowing for more specialized stores to come out and many online stores like Cool Male Sex Toys only sells toys designed for men. Also, the Internet allows for an influx of Asian products – mostly Japanese, Chinese, and South Korean – that add a huge variety of choices in terms of textures and crazy ideas.
Have also in mind that men sex toys are limited in terms of materials. While women sex toy designers can play with a variety of materials to give different sensations to the user – wood, metal, glass, TPR, silicone, and plastics among others- masturbation sleeves and sex dolls need to be TPR / TPE, silicone, or latex. That brings the next factor…
Factor 3: Men toys are fucking expensive
Remember I mentioned there are limited materials for male sex toys? These materials have two main issues – they are either very difficult to process (TPE) or very expensive (silicone). Both of these issues make these toys more expensive than female toys.
Women can find decent quality dildos for about $20 and decent vibrators for about $40. If you are a man looking for a masturbation sleeve, expect to spend at least $60 for a mid-level sleeve. Want a good quality TPE sleeve? Budget $80 for this one. Prefer a sex doll? A realistic inflatable is no less than $100 and a (plush) solid no less than $500. BTW, if you want to cuddle with a realistic TPE or silicone doll, the minimum price is around $1000 and they go all the way up to ten grand ($10,000). In contrast, a Sybian with ALL the attachments costs less than $2,000.
With the price of a masturbation sleeve averaging $70, it is no surprise to learn that few companies send free sleeves for testing. Unless your blog / social media outlets have thousands of viewers most companies simply won’t consider you for free evaluation products. In my personal case, I have received free toys from ToyDemon, ToMax, and a couple of smaller stores but still the number of products is less than 15% of the toys I have reviewed in the past 6 years. Some of the sex dolls, I received discounted prices but I still had to pay from my pocket to get the product.
With these costs, many male sex toy reviewers tend to settle with a single store or brand, receiving some free products from these companies. Others simply cannot continue after a time and stop buying products. Others like me, simply budget their purchases to coincide with the big sales from the different companies.
Factor 4: They can be difficult to evaluate
Another factor limiting how many men review sex toys on the Internet is the reality of male orgasms. As we get older, male libido decreases. When I was in my 20’s, I could masturbate twice during the day and then later have two rounds of heavy sex with my girl. On my 30’s, I could masturbate once and have two rounds of sex. Now in my 40’s, I am lucky if I am able to masturbate once and have sex once within 24 hours. Our sex drive changes with age, and lets not talk about health conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, depression, and others which break havoc on your erections.
Besides the health issues, there are also some mechanical issues. Most masturbation sleeves need a “training” period to allow the penis to get used to the texture and to allow the toy’s material to adjust to the penis’ size. That requires you to use the toy at least three times to really experience the texture at its best – when you are lucky. Textures like the Fleshlight’s Vortex have a longer training period of up to 12 uses to really experience it. Solid sex dolls like the Teddy Babes can require up to two weeks of use to get “soft” and allow the reviewer to give an honest opinion. Reviewing a sex toy in an honest fashion requires hard, hard work…
Factor 5: Relationships
Relationships change your masturbatory habits when you are a man. I don’t know if women have the same issue, but when men are in a relationship, it is expected for him to stop masturbating (or reduce the frequency) because now “he does not need it”. If you do, you better keep enough energy to give your partner a good orgasm (or more than one whenever possible) later that day. As I mentioned earlier, that becomes more and more difficult as you get older.
There is another issue: jealousy. When your partner is not an avid sex toy user, they can become extremely resentful of your favorite toy. For many men out there it feels humiliating when your partner can only achieve an explosive orgasm when shoving her Mandingo foot-long dildo inside her pussy or ass. For many woman, it is equally difficult to accept that the man in her life can only cum when using a Fleshlight or the Asa Akira Real Doll.
Personally, I had been in relationships where the woman I dated understood why I have so many sex toys and even included them into our sexual practice (I still had to make sure he came though…) and I had been in relationships where the woman simply went ballistic and demanded me to choose between her or the toys.
The choice was easy – toys have no drama!
Factor #6: Social media censorship
You know about the double standard about showing nipples – men’s nipples are OK, women’s nipples are not? Guess what – the same shitty standard applies to sex toys!
Believe it or not, I have to be extremely careful every time I make a YouTube review to avoid being penalized. I cannot show my dolls’ breasts because my account could be shut down. Is the doll not life-sized? I could be accused of promoting child porn. Is the toy a reproduction of a famous porn star’s pussy? Forget about showing it – it is considered nudity. Show a flogging demo? The video was taken down because of “nudity” – even when the woman was wearing shorts and the demo was in a public space.
The problem is that men are more visual than women, so our toys are more graphic and most of them have realistic looks. We need our brains to be fooled into the fantasy that we are fucking a woman and not a chunk of silicone or TPE.
In that sense, even I have to admit women are superior…