Just came back home from my second Frolicon in three years (read about my previous experiences HERE, HERE, and HERE) and still my head is a little dizzy. At 45, I am not as resilient as I was to deal with three days of constant stimuli – and I feel exhausted. Happy, but so fucking tired!
I call Frolicon the “Freak and Geek” event. Mix geek culture components such as anime, steampunk and cosplay, lifestyle components such as swingers and polyamory, different sexual identities, all the kinks from classical BDSM to puppy / pony play and extreme “playing” styles like blood play, and lots of information and you have an idea. Add liberal amounts of fun in the shape of games, shows, comedy, music and truckloads of alcohol and you can understand why I say my head is still dizzy!
I could write a book with all the stuff I experienced this weekend, but since I do not want to bore the shit out of you, I will give you the good, the bad, and the ugly highlights of Frolicon…
The people is always great. Frolicon is a small event (around 2,000 attendees) with most of the people coming from Georgia and neighboring states. As a “New Yorker”, I usually do not know anyone at the con. Add that I am usually the only Hispanic in the room (most attendees are White with some African Americans in the mix) and it is easy to feel rejected. Fortunately, people at the con welcomes you and are open enough to leave any prejudice outside the convention. I was not “best buddies” with anyone, but I got to have interesting conversations with many of the attendees.
No chance to be bored. Unlike other conventions I have attended, Frolicon does not give you a chance to be bored. Checking the program, I could always find something interesting to attend – it could be a seminar about one of my kinks, an activity, or a show. Besides that, they had the game room, the dungeon, the (small) vendors area, and of course the areas for social interaction. Although I was staying at the convention hotel, I only went to my room to take a shower, take my meds, and sleep a couple of hours each day. The rest of the day you would find me at the convention area…
A liberating experience. I could see how being in this activity was a liberating experience for many of the attendees. Living in a “liberal” city like New York City often makes you forget that many people have to hide their lifestyle, sexual preferences and kinks from everyone. Once in the hotel, you could see how a couple of the attendees transformed – not only psychologically, but also physically. That gives you a perspective of the behaviors you observe though the weekend. I was an observer of these transformations and enjoyed the relief and happiness as if they were my own.
So much nudity. Being honest, I have voyeuristic tendencies and this activity allowed me to look and enjoy female bodies at leisure (I had to deal with male nudity, but it comes with the territory.) Unlike other activities, here you observed natural bodies – implants were few and far. Personally, I prefer to see natural saggy boobs and slightly droopy asses than picture-perfect bodies like you observe on the North East. Getting in the dungeon and watching some normal people practicing real BDSM (fuck that 50 shades shit!) is paradise for a voyeur – and I did exactly that for three days.
The age gap was noticeable. Something I have noticed in many kink activities I have attended (munches and cons), is the widening age gap in the participants. You have the “Old Guard” – those kinksters in their 40’s and above – and the “New Generation” who usually is below 35. Both groups have slightly different approaches, with most of the younger ones being more open to ideas and experimentation, while the old guard is all about leather, paddles and whips. If you are like me – a 40-something that is “new” to the scene, then you are kind of in limbo.
No activities on Sunday?! I understand the fact that usually on Sunday, people are tired, hung over, and sleep until just the time to check out from the hotel. Because of that, most Sunday sessions were usually empty… but they should have SOMETHING for people to attend until the con is officially closed. Many attendees (like me) stayed until Monday expecting to enjoy some sort of activity on late Sunday morning – and found that nothing was going on until 2 in the afternoon. I walked like a lost soul in the vendors room for a few minutes (they started packing at noon) before heading up to my room – and promptly falling sleep until 4 pm when the official closing activity was over. It would have been good to attend some “cool down” activity until closure. Maybe next year?
Fat heterosexual man = Forever alone. This has nothing to do with the organization, but it was something I experienced during the weekend… You be the judge.
At Frolicon there is a table with beads you use to show your “identities”. They have a series of colors to code certain preferences / lifestyles / moods, so you pick the beads of the colors representing you and make a bracelet or badge identifier to let other participants how to approach you. This is a great idea – but only works in certain aspects.
I picked the colors matching my “identities” (black for dominant, pink for “into girls” and yellow because I am “new to the scene”), made a short braid I hung with my badge and went my way to activities. Interestingly enough, people avoided me as if I had the plague – people sat far away in seminars and shows, if I was in the elevator with a woman she would be nervous until someone else got in, and some people even ignored when I greeted them. It was weird, but I assumed it was because I looked as if I did not belong.
At noon on Friday, I removed the braid from the badge because it was getting tied with the lanyard. Believe it or not, people started to interact with me AS SOON I did not identify myself as a hetero man. My face and attitude were exactly the same, I was wearing the same clothes – the only difference was the lack of an identifier. From that point on, I had a great convention, with women sitting next to me in rooms where they had a selection of empty seats and many of them even starting some “negotiations”. Guys started conversations with me about different topics, asking about preferences later in the conversation and maintaining the conversation even when I identified as hetero. Even a couple of trans ladies asked me if I was interested in “playing” with them – offers I politely refused by simply establishing I preferred biological women (biosex).
So…what do you think?
If you are kinky and live in the South East of the USA, you should try Frolicon. Even if you are from the North East, the expense will be justified because the environment is relaxed and fun. Will I attend again? Only if I am part of a group, because going on my own limits my “playing” options.
Let me know if you want to include me in your group…
Check frolicon.com for the 2018 dates.