I normally do not react to the gender / identity issues plaguing the Internet in the past couple of years, but after reading a couple of online articles from female sex toy reviewers / sex bloggers / sex educators – and their related comments –  I had to make an exception to my rule…

Lets say it full frontal:

If you call yourself a sex blogger / educator and do not want to deal with men sexual issues, then please change your title. Call yourself anything else, but change your labels…

I had been reviewing toys since 2010 and I avoid using terms such as “sex blogger”, and even more, “sex educator” when describing what I do.  I use the label “male sex toy reviewer” because I do not deal with toys designed for women. Yes, I know there is the opinion about sex toys being “gender neutral” but the reality is that if you are a guy that does not like anal play, 75% of the toys on the market are useless for you.

When you use a label such as “sex educator”, you are telling the public “I CAN TEACH YOU ABOUT SEX” – regardless of the person’s gender identification, sex, or preference. If you do not want to read, write, or hear about dicks and balls and the sexual problems associated with them, then stop calling yourself a “sex educator”. Call yourself a “women’s sexual educator” or something on the line that specifies you DO NOT WANT to discuss anything about penises and the people attached to them.

As a man (please read “I’m A Man, Not An Animal!” for reference), I take personal offense when I hear a so called “sexual educator” dismissing men issues. We do not have anything that resembles sexual education – unless you are talking about the crap that passes as sexual education in most school systems in the United States. If you are a male human child (a “boy” for those of you that forgot the word means “infant male human”), you do not get any guidance through puberty.

You know how we usually learn about our morning boners? From older brothers, cousins, or from our peers. If we are lucky, we have a father / father figure that takes time and explain to us what is going on and more importantly, what it means for the rest of our lives. Bill Burr explains it much, much better than most “health” teachers in US schools!

Unfortunately, many boys growing up after the 1970’s were not lucky. Due to the spike in divorce rates happening since that decade and the trend of single mothers in later years, many boys grew up without a father or father authority, learning about sex and relationships from popular media, friends, and pornography – which you realize is great for heating things before sex but extremely bad educational material.

Those men sending dick pics? Most of them come from single parent homes where a positive father figure was not available. They grew up being raised by the TV, watching sexed up ads, music videos, and shows. The guy calling you a “bitch” and a “hoe” as if those were your nicknames? He grew up watching hip-hop videos where young women with big asses had those words printed on their shorts (or bras, because often they were shown using thongs). If they were born after 1994, just add easy access to 24/7 free porn on demand and you will understand why sending a dick pic is nothing to these guys.

I am not justifying sending dick pics or ignorant and offensive comments towards women, but women forget WE ARE NOT SEXUALLY EDUCATED. When we have a sex related question as men, we have a very limited pool of resources to ask.

What about online sources? Well, most are written from either the female or the gay man perspective and often disregard or minimize the heterosexual man perspective. Same thing applies to sex blogs and sex education conferences – out of 20 sessions, maybe 2 are related to the issues of heterosexual men. By the way, most of those sessions are about “How To Suck A Dick”, which  I have no interest in learning… Hey, I like to get MY dick sucked, but sucking one is not part of my bucket list!

Personally, I will put my grain of sand in the field and write posts and make videos about being a “sex positive” heterosexual man. I will discuss men issues EXCLUSIVELY because those are the issues I know, understand, and have experienced first hand. After dealing with a penis for more than 40 years  (my own) and dealing with the “ladies” for more than 30, I think I have one or two things to share with the younger generation…

On the other hand, I cannot write much about vulvas and vaginas. I have licked them, I have fucked them, I have fingered them – and I have dealt with their owners. That is the extent of my knowledge. I don’t have one, I don’t have to take care of one, and I don’t understand the intricate mechanisms of menstruation or the social issues of having it because I DO NOT HAVE THAT EQUIPMENT. I do not deal with pussy issues because I feel superior, entitled, or -cough, cough, spit – “privileged”.   I do not deal with pussy issues because I cannot and will not experience them – and I like to talk and write about things I have experienced. There are many good sex bloggers out there that can talk about pussy issues with authority. Just check Kinkly’s List of Superheroes. 

I can only talk and write about men issues because  I have experience in those – and there are not too many of us around!

Hey, I assume I can call myself a “sex blogger” now…