Lube Rules

“I bought this toy because I read great reviews including yours, but this toy is a piece of shit! It’s worthless! How it got a high score?”

I get comments and messages like that since I started writing this blog four years ago. I don’t get personally offended because I know all of us have different tastes and enjoy different sensations, but I also have another reason. I know that the lube you use will affect how the toy feel.

You see, a few years ago you maybe had two or three brands of water based lubricants to use. Unless you went to a sex shop, the only option you had in drugstores was K-Y and maybe a store brand. Now, we have hundreds – if not thousands – of brands from the United States, Japan, and Europe. Brands have regular, warming, edible, cooling, fruit flavored, and  God knows what other varieties are on the shelves. Trying and reviewing all of them is basically IMPOSSIBLE!

Now, each one of these lubes have five characteristics that influence your experience with a toy. These characteristics joined to the material and texture of your toy will create your experience. If you combine the toy with an appropriate lube, your experience will be a good one. If you use the “wrong” lube, then the experience won’t be great and there is a big chance you will blame the toy.

What are the characteristics? Those are thickness, elasticity, slickness, texture, and residue. Let’s define them:

  • Thickness. Lubricants come in a variety of thicknesses (viscosity) from the very liquid that is almost like water to the gels you can almost cut with a knife. 
  • Elasticity. A property often confused with viscosity, elasticity is how long the lube clings to a surface before breaking. If you have ever used honey, that is a good example of an elastic liquid.
  • Slickness. This is how long the lube reduces friction before needing to be reactivated by adding water or reapplied.
  • Texture. Depending on its ingredients, some lubes can feel oily or even grainy.
  • Residue. Again depending on its ingredients, lubes can leave residues on the skin and the toy that can feel oily, grainy, or leave no residue at all.

How these affect your experience

Again, I haven’t tested all the brands of lube available in the market, but in practice, I apply some rules to match lubes with toys to get the results I want for that session. I will share them with you and use them if you want…

Rule #1: Thick lubes lower the intensity of the toy’s texture.
A thicker lube will “dampen” the intensity of the toy at the beginning of the session because it covers your penis and the tunnel of the toy with more material. You will take longer to feel the texture of your toy and the sensation will be gradual as the lube gets consumed by friction. If you use a thick lube with an intense toy expecting to have a quick session, you will be disappointed and feel the toy is not as sold.

Rule #2: Don’t use watery lubes with open-ended lubes.
It sounds silly, but I hate having a lot of lube on my hands while using a toy – it makes holding the toy almost impossible. That’s why I don’t use thin, watery lubes with open ended toys. For those I choose mid-thickness or thick lubes so they stay inside the tunnel as long as possible.

Rule #3: Smooth toys feel better with thicker lubes.
I don’t know if its me, but when I use a smooth texture like the Fleshlight Original or the Lilith Uterus, they feel better when the lube is thicker. This is maybe because I like long sessions (more than 45 minutes) and the thicker lubes allow me to enjoy the sensations of these toys for up to two hours without needing reapplication. Another effect is that the orgasms are super intense because the session is longer than normal and the sleeve sensations become present in a gradual way as the lube gets diluted with my pre-cum.

Rule #4: Japanese lubes feel more realistic.
When I want to feel as if I am fucking a real life pussy, I tend to use Japanese lubes or lotions. These lubes – available through Toy Demon, QueenCat Adult Toys, Kanojo Toys, and other Japanese toys sellers – tend to be more elastic and slightly thicker than their American counterparts, simulating the consistency of real body fluids. There are a zillion brands, but I can recommend Pipi, Lube Company, and Tenga Real as good realistic lubes.

Rule #5: Have three lubes available at all times.
I keep three lubes in use at all times to accommodate the toy I am using with the right type of lube. You don’t need to buy three different brands – you can buy a thick lube like KY Jelly, Muoko, or any store brand, then pour some in two separate empty bottles and dilute them in different concentrations. That way you have three versions of lube viscosity to try with your toys.

Again, these are “rules” I use on my practice – I hope they are useful to you guys!

4 thoughts on “Lube Rules”

  1. Best lube I’ve used I make myself from vegetable glycerine, xanthan gum, and water. You can adjust the viscosity, it’s 100% natural, cheap, and cleans up easily. Water soluble.

    1. Personally, I also prefer xantham gum above commercial lubes but it has the main issue of shelf life. I had never used glycerine with my mix, but I will try ASAP… Lately I had been using different brands of lube because I got so many samples, I needed to make up some space!

  2. Nice post, should preface every toy purchase. Lube is important! I use astroglide mixed with 25% water, and keep a spray bottle filled with water to refresh with.
    -Swivelthumb.

Comments are closed.