Personally, I like to keep my private life to myself. Ironically, in the past seven years I had been describing my private life -or the lack of one – online, where thousands of strangers know more about what I do with my genitals than my own family. In fact, to my family, I am either a 45 years old virgin or a 45 years old closeted gay.
The reality? I am neither… I am a MGTOW.
I know that MGTOW has a bad reputation. Many people think that it is the realm of conservative white men who had been hurt by women. For others, it is just a he-man, woman-haters online group where those of us who had been rejected and hurt go to lick our wounds. Well, if you think like that, go on and keep your eyes closed, because MGTOW – at least for me – is much, much more than that…
My style of MGTOW
First of all, let me remind you that MGTOW is different for every man. After all, MGTOW means Men Going Their Own Way, so every man has his own “flavor” of this life style. Like any ideology, philosophy, or life style, it can be a path of enlightenment or a path of hatred and darkness depending on how it is applied and the nature of the man living it.
For me, MGTOW has been a label to apply to the lifestyle I chose 25 years ago – well before the coining of the term and its spread on the Internet. When I discovered the label three or four years ago, I realized it summarized the basic principles I had chosen to apply to my life back when I was in college. These principles are:
Men and women are equal. Since I was a child, I was taught that men and women were equal. At home, my father would regularly cook and help in household chores while my mother would help in painting, mixing cement, and mowing the lawn. With their example, they taught me that men and women are equal in everything – rights and responsibilities, actions and consequences. Equality means NO PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT. Every right has a responsibility or duty attached to it regardless of what is between your legs.
That understanding has placed me in a couple in interesting situations such as when a former girlfriend slapped me during and argument – and I slapped her back. I had warned her at the beginning of our relationship that I would treat her as I treat a male friend – I would never hit her IF she never hit me first. She thought I was bluffing and she learned the hard way I was not. So far, she has been the only woman I have hit in my life… all the other women in my life understood and respected being treated equally.
Treat everyone with respect until they do not deserve it. Regardless of who you are, I will treat you with a basic level of respect. I wont insult you or diminish you UNLESS you earn it. If you intentionally insult me, then any respect I gave you will go out of the window and I will retaliate as needed. Words like “bitch”, “cunt” or “hoe” are not in my daily vocabulary – but they are insults I will use when needed. Do not want to be insulted? Do not make me insult you…and hey, I know lots of insults!
I am nobody’s meal ticket. I have no issue in inviting you to lunch or dinner once in a while, specially if you are having bad times, but I am not your meal ticket. If you want my money, time, or other resources, you need to offer me something in exchange. It could be your friendship, your future assistance when I need it, or hell, maybe even sex, but if am spending money on you on a regular basis, I expect something back…
Not my circus, not my monkeys. I learned the hard way that I should never get involved in other people’s problems. Regardless of who you are, if you have problems, do not expect me to solve them for you. Hey, I’ll be more than happy to give you advice if you ask and even some assistance, but I am not taking bullets for you. If you got into a situation because of your loud mouth or your stupid behavior, you are on your own…
People are evil. I had never placed anyone on a pedestal – no one is perfect. To me, everyone out there has his / her own agenda and sometimes that agenda does not benefit me in any way. Since I understand you have your own agenda, I consider you capable of cheating, stealing, and lie to me as you need to fulfill your agenda. Plainly said, I EXPECT THE WORST FROM YOU. I know it sounds miserable, but after being back stabbed by people I considered my friends and having relatives that do every trick in the books to steal from you, I am unable to think people – men and women alike- are innocent and pure.
My life, my choices. In the political history of Puerto Rico there is a moment that happened before I was born. There was a generational change happening in the main political party of the Island and the younger politician told to the founder of the party: “This is my position, I will make the decisions…” I read the scenario when I was a teenager and those words marked me. This is MY life, so I am the one making the decisions – not society, not a romantic partner, not my family – ME! That simple reality, which is the main belief for any MGTOW, has been the center of my life for more than 25 years.
In this section, I will be sharing with you my flavor of MGTOW, my way. Do not expect more of the red pill narrative, or me calling women bitches, hoes, or cunts – that’s not my style. Here, you can expect a few opinions about masculinity, the things you can do to live as a man in a world that insist in erasing masculinity, and maybe a couple of reactions about relationships.
Again, this is my own flavor of the MGTOW philosophy. Read at your own risk…