As you know, I had been exploring my sexual behavior and discovered a few things about my twisted perception of reality…
Kinks and fetishes are NOT the same thing.
I have learned that fetishes and kinks are different aspects of sexual behavior. A fetish is when you give sexual meaning to something that is not sexual while a kink is a behavior considered abnormal (not usual or normal). For example, a fetish would be seeing a pair of stiletto high heel shoes on a store display and having a raging erection. You are giving a sexual meaning to an ordinary item (shoes).
A kink would be being excited when you see an attractive woman (or guy, if that’s your preference) wearing the same style of shoes. In this case, the shoes are an accessory enhancing the focus of your attention (the woman or guy), but they are not the experience by themselves.
Basically, a kink is when an object improves the sexual interaction with your partner; a fetish is when a common object becomes your sexual partner.
BTW, if the item is sexual in nature (designed for sex), it is not a fetish.
Age Play, Bondage, and becoming a Daddy (with some issues…)
With that difference in mind, I began to ask myself if what I discussed earlier where fetishes or kinks. As I did to discover my fetishes, I took a web survey to classify my kinks (bdsmtest.org) and got some interesting results. Below, I included only the results above 80% – you can see the whole list on my Fet profile – and they go hand in hand with my main fetishes. Using the archetypes definitions from BDSM Test I got these matches:
Bondage Giver (89%) – Bondage givers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreaders…). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy having their partners completely at their mercy.
NAILED IT – I enjoy restricting the movement of my partners, either by literal bondage (ropes, scarves, even tape) or by other means. Blindfolding them is another thing I enjoy because it limits their movement and enhances their other sensations at the same time.
Experimentalist (88%) – Experimentalists want to have tried it all. An open mind and an insatiable curiosity are their key features, and they will rarely form an opinion before they have gathered first hand experience. They often have plenty of fantasies and will actively pursue to try them out.
NAILED IT – In regards to sex, I am willing to try almost everything. I even do variations of the same activity just to see if there are different sensations. I love to experiment with sensations , either with a partner – which had been subjected to various of my kinky experiments with temperature and textures – or for my own personal pleasure. That explains my ever growing collection of sex toys and dolls covered in different materials.
Daddy/Mommy (83%) – Daddies/Mommies take on a caretaker role in the relationship, being a guide as much a dominant. Daddies/Mommies dominate their little treasure submissives with an iron fist in a velvet glove: much cuddly and affectionate on the outside, while being as sturdy and hard on the inside as other dominants. Using subtle psychological mechanisms rather than brute power, they nurture their littles into obedience.
NAILED IT – Until Frolicon, I had never realized I have a Daddy personality. It is not something I do – it is WHO I AM! About 15 years ago I was involved with this girl who drove me mad because she would act like a 8-year old in the most random moments. Now I understand she was a little and our relationship could have been a really interesting one if I had embraced my personality. Too bad she is now married…
Dominant (80%) – Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are dominant only in the bedroom, others are dominant throughout their daily life as well (usually with limitations). Unlike the top roles (giving pain/bondage/degradation), being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.
NAILED IT – I like to be in charge of my surroundings, but enjoy a little bit of struggle from my sub (after all, I got a 54% on Brat Tamer).
My next step in this journey? Getting into the local scene with the help of FetLife. I’ve already began going to munches and looking for a play partner. Again, if you are a submissive Asian girl interested in a Latino Daddy, let me know…
FYI: Yes, the post title refers to Metallica’s Poor Twisted Me from Load