The Doll Life #8: The Ten Commandments of Doll Ownership

When you become the owner of a sex doll,there are certain things you should do to assure you enjoy your “relationship”. These are the ten commandments I follow with my doll harem…

  1. You shall be able to move your doll. Dolls are heavy – between 50 and 100 pounds of dead, uncooperative weight. They cannot move on their own, so you should be able to lift your doll at least long enough to place “her” on a wheelchair, storage area, or hanging post. Many doll owners forget this commandment and purchase a doll too heavy for them. My rule of thumb for purchasing dolls is dividing my weight by 5 – that is the maximum weight I can lift comfortably (I have back, shoulder, and knee injuries). Right now, I weight 350 pounds, so that means any doll I purchase should not weight more than 70 pounds for me to move it without messing my back. Very simple rule of thumb…
  2. You shall not abuse of your doll. Sex dolls are expensive items – they all cost between $500 to $10,000 –, but they are incredibly fragile for an item designed to be fucked. If you are rough with your doll, it will break down so quickly you will feel you wasted your money. I have seen dolls totally destroyed by their owners because they did BDSM with them, or because they insisted in having the doll hanging while they fucked them. I compare that to buying a brand new Audi or a BMW and then using it for a demolition derby. Totally dumb…
  3. You shall learn basic repairing skills. Since we are talking about the fragility of sex dolls, I have to tell you something: No matter how delicate you treat your doll, it will break. Finger pokes, broken skeleton joints, messed up eyes, torn orifices, and delamination (layers of material separating) are completely common “injuries” among sex dolls. You should learn basic repairing skills such as applying silicone to finger pokes and torn orifices, eye replacement, and the most common – finger nail replacement. You give maintenance to your car, don’t you?
  4. You shall have clothes and accessories for your doll. When you purchased your sex doll, you purchased a specific model because it looked real. Guess what? You looked at marketing photos – photos made to show the product its best so you feel attracted to purchase it. You can replicate that initial attraction, but it requires some effort from your part. You need to get your lady clothes, wigs, and other accessories to maintain that attraction. You need to (gasp) go shopping for your lover so you feel comfortable playing with “her”.
  5. You shall give your doll a name. In other cultures, names are sacred – they define who you are and where you came from. To really make your doll yours, “she” needs a name. “Her” name will enhance the playtime, since now you are not humping a pile of rubber, plastic, or cloth – now you are having sex with the representation of the woman of your dreams.
  6. You shall give your doll an origin story. This goes hand in hand with the name and the accessories. Creating an origin story develops a personality for your doll. That personality defines the wig, clothes, and accessories you will buy for her. Is your fantasy woman a high-end escort? Then the wig and dress will be totally different from the ones used if your fantasy is having sex with a super heroine, a space queen, or an Indian (dot, not feather) princess. Is your fantasy lover even human? I know a couple of guys having demon dolls and I have two elves in my collection. No matter what type of doll, that back story will enhance your playing time by making the fantasy more and more realistic.
  7. You shall always keep your doll clean. This to me is a no-brainer. The last thing you want is to get an infection from your doll – after all that is one one of the reasons to prefer dolls! Here I make emphasis on the orifices used for sex. If you cum inside “her”, be sure you clean your mess before storing her. Leaving your lady all dirty inside means creating the conditions to develop mold and bacteria. You don’t want to throw away your expensive toy because is all black inside her pussy, do you?
  8. You shall not share your doll. I have learned that people do not take care of things they do not own. Anyone who have lent a tool to a friend knows what I mean – the tool returns broken, with missing parts, and often it never returns. If I do not share my tools, much less I will lend you something where you are going to cum. Do not ask me to use one of my dolls. Period.
  9. You shall treat your doll as you would treat a human. One of the arguments I often hear about doll owners is that we “objectify women”. My response to this argument is: If you meet a guy who has a destroyed sex doll in his possession, get away from that guy. Humans tend to treat anything with a humanoid shape as a human. If a guy destroys a doll or purchases a doll or mannequin for the whole purpose of practicing some torture style, be sure that guy will torture a human.
  10. You shall never forget your doll is just a sex toy. Although I name my dolls, purchase things for them, and create complex back stories to enhance my fantasies, I do not forget these dolls are toys – toys I can fuck, but still toys. They represent my fantasies and desires, but they are inanimate objects that cannot respond to my feelings outside the fantasy playing in my brain.

Now, let me get a chisel and two stone slabs…

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