The Abbey’s Secret Ale was another of the SIAC v2.0 set sold by ILF during 2009. This SIAC has a mouth orifice and the texture is a scaled down speed bump texture. Unfortunately, this SIAC was retired from the market back in April 2010, but maybe is still around in some retailers. So, lets review it.
As with all SIACs the first thing that caught your attention was the can form and the label. In this case, Abbey’s label was the most stylish (next to the Succu-Dry). When I removed the top cap for the first time, I was impressed on how realistic the small mouth looked (full size FL mouths look like they come from Jabba the Hut). This mouth, on the other hand, looks inviting and sexy. The first impression when inserting a finger inside it was “This thing is tight”. And tight it is…
Intensity (5 / 5)
The mini speed bump is one of those “hit or miss” textures; sometimes it feels great, at others it is kind of “so-so”. Like the mini Vortex, Abbey didn’t do it for me the first few times I used it. Originally, it took me like 5 uses to finally decipher this SIAC. Once I went slowly with it, Abbey’s intensity showed up. The bumps made themselves present pressing around my dick with every stroke. During this review, Abbey did her work every single time making me gasping for air after every ejaculation.
Lets simply summarize: It’s a SIAC. The mouth entrance is more flexible than the Lotus Lager or the Spread Eagle, but still the canal is tight.
There is no way the Abbey Secret Ale feels realistic. It feels good, but not close to oral sex.
Hands free sessions with a mouth SIAC require more imagination than with vaginal or ass orifices, but the Abbey wins a perfect score in the versatility category. It feels great either by stroking or hands free.
Lubricant use (5/5)
Once lubed, Abbey didn’t require any extra lube or re-wetting. Perfect score in this category.
No issues using the SIAC. No extreme, annoying noises or caving.
Hygiene (5 / 5)
Like Fleshlights, SIACs only need to be flushed with water.
Abbey dried up nicely after 24 hours left hanging on open air outside the case.
Maintenance (5 / 5)
No special maintenance required so far besides a regular corn starching when stored for a few weeks.
Tear and wear (5/5)
No noticeable tear and wear on this SIAC after a year of use.
Total score: 47 / 50
It is a shame that ILF discontinued this SIAC model. It is one of my favorite toys when I want an intense session that forces me to take it easy to last for more than 10 minutes. The closes thing ILF has to the mini Speed Bump is the mini STU available as Grape Jack Soda from their Fleshjack line.
FYI: The visual stimuli for these sessions was provided by the ultra fine Asa Akira and her feature Asa Akira Is Insatiable. That opening scene in the adult cinema is one of the hottest I had ever seen!
Next stop: Succu-Dry SIAC