Article: Why Do I Purchase My Toys?

Hello strangers!

This past few weeks had been hell for your masked friend El Casque…

After a couple of free days in February, I managed to hurt myself, get sick, and get super stressed at work. Thankfully, my life is getting back to normal – still sore and feeling like shit, but returning to normal, acceptable levels.

Throughout those days, a good friend came to my apartment and seeing the bins of sex toys  waiting to be reviewed, commented that my blog was doing great based on all the toys “sent” by companies. I had to correct my friend: Those toys had not been sent by companies, those toys were purchased with MY money.

Why the hell do I buy the toys I review here? To some that is stupid – after all, I am giving these companies and their products free promotion without getting anything from them. Well, there are a few reasons from both my side and their side…


My online presence is a joke. This blog gets around 3,000 hits daily. That is NOTHING in Internet traffic. My followers in social media – all outlets added together – add about 250. In the Internet, I am a tiny speck of dust. Most companies will consider sending me products IF I had a major impact (more viewers / readers), but right now, sending me a toy with a price tag of $60 is like throwing that money to the trash bin. I get it…if I were them, I probably would do the same…

I am not part of the “cool” demographic. I am an obese, middle aged Hispanic guy that is not photogenic and uses lucha libre masks to hide his identity. Besides not being photogenic, I am a straight, “cisgender” man (hate the stupid labels) that is not interested in reviewing sex toys for vaginas, or  even asses. If I identified as a “gender fluid”, “queer”, or “trans” “male”, showed my face on camera, had a weird hairdo with all the fucking colors of the rainbow and had exaggerated mannerisms, then I would be one of the “cool kids”. I would have more viewers and companies would send merchandise. Unfortunately, it would not be me, so fuck it…

I am not “inclusive” enough. It is difficult to deal with the “inclusive” label because it has more interpretations than grains of sand in the desert. I had been rejected by companies because I had expressed I don’t run with the labels like “gender fluid”, “cisgender” or “queer”. I had expressed in the past my views on number of sexes (2), genders (maybe up to 6), and feminism (not cancer, but a really cult-like ideology). I had even committed the capital sin of identifying as a MGTOW (“You are a misogynistic pig!”) According to the almighty Internet, I am not “inclusive” because I do not follow the “in” discourse and have different opinions than the dominant groups in the industry.


I like to keep it 100% real. Speaking honestly, I purchase around 85% of the toys I review. That allows me to be brutally honest with my reviews – even when I am reviewing a toy available in one or more of the companies I am affiliated. Because I spent MY money on THEIR shit, there are no expectations from them of getting a “nice” review from a customer.

I avoid crappy toys. When you receive toys from companies, you usually receive whatever they are promoting / introducing at the time. That means that often, you receive shitty, unimpressive toys that are below “bleh”. By purchasing my toys, I ensure I review toys of decent quality and toys that were interesting to me. I think that if they interested me, they will interest the average guy out there – and that if I like them, YOU probably will them too!

My style, my schedule, my moods. Another big advantage of buying my own toys is that I review them on my own schedule. This is my hobby, not my job. I have a regular day job, a social life, and many other hobbies, so my time to take toys’ photos, sit down and write a review, shoot a video, edit, and promote the latest post is limited. VERY LIMITED. Most companies require a review 5 to 15 days after receiving their toy – and I sometimes take months to review a toy. In fact, most of the toys I will be reviewing in the following weeks were purchased between two months to two years ago. No company would be happy with that review timeline!

The part you don’t see: I’m fucking a sex doll at the same time.

Also, I mentioned my moods. Men toys are textured, so they match certain moods better than others. There are days you want a softer, longer session so you pick a smooth textured toy. Other days you want to push yourself to your edging limits, so you need a super-intense texture. Buying my toys allow me to alter my schedule as I feel like, depending on what I want to experience in that session.

Well, there you have it. I really prefer to buy my toys…but if Real Doll wants to send me an Asa Akira doll to review, I would not say no… (Contact me…PLEASE!!!).

Asa is the one on top (I think…)