HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, 2012 is finally here! The end of the current Maya calendar – doomsday for some, a new start for others, and a lot of $$$ for some people writing scary shit about the end of the world. Or like my friend Itzel (a Maya descendant) likes to say, the year of “I don’t give a fuck!”

Regardless if it is the end of the world as we know it, I made up some resolutions (just in case this planet keeps moving on December 22, 2012. I know resolutions are as strong as wet cheap toilet paper, but anyway, these are my resolutions for 2012:

1. I will limit my sex toy purchases. The plan is to buy just 10 toys this year – no more. I barely have space in my apartment and time to enjoy the ones I have will become scarce during the year. (This resolution doesn’t apply to the ones ordered in December.)

2. I will watch each and every one of the movies I have. In the past 2 years I have collected a ton of porn. I have hundreds of porn movies and I haven’t watched even a quarter of them. The goal this year is to watch all of them… or at least not adding to the collection until I do.

3. Enjoy life and new experiences. If the world is going to end, why are we holding our true selves? This year I plan to experience whatever I want and enjoy every single sexual moment I have. Nothing illegal allowed, but if it is legal and I want to try it, it will be done!

4. Enjoy what I have while I have it. No more envy, no more greed, no more selfishness in ALL aspects of my life.

That’s it. A few simple resolutions that hopefully will be easier to achieve than loosing weight…