January hit me harder than expected. Last month I dealt with earthquakes, intense travel experiences, professional training issues, and an injured back I am still nursing. We lost Neil Peart, Kobe Bryant, and many other celebrities, a Presidential impeachment and many other crap… but January is finally over and we can begin to enjoy this year 2020!
So, for our first review of 2020, I picked no other than one of the most talked-about toys of 2019: the Hot Octopus’ JETT. This is a male vibrator than according to most sex toy reviewers, was a “life changer”.
As a veteran sex toy reviewer, I tried to get one from the company – after all, they were giving them away like hotcakes since EVERY reviewer I follow on social media had them for review – but my blog did not qualify. You know, the usual requirements of being “sex positive”, “inclusive”, “gender neutral”, and other gender identity politics usual in the sex toy industry…
Well, that did not stop me on getting my “toxic” hands on one. Finally in December I purchased one on sale and experimented with the “life changing” toy. Is the JETT really that good or it is just over hype from the reviewers who got one free?
You know the only way to answer that question, so LETS GO TO THE REVIEW!
I had never purchased a Hot Octopuss product before because of two reasons: 1) most of their products are toys designed for women, and 2) the products designed for men are on the freakingly expensive side. I do know they are considered high end toys by most reviewers, but I could not convince myself of spending $70 on a toy when something similar from Japan (with similar quality) could cost me $30.
The JETT was not an exception to this. It is a relatively simple concept– two big bullet vibrators (sometimes called egg vibrators) with a single controller used in a support to stimulate the penis glans. The idea is to use a silicone ring with three holes – two for the vibrators, one for your penis -, place the contraption on your frenulum (the most sensitive part of the glans), and turn on the toy to enjoy the sensations until reaching a mind blowing orgasm. It is a concept present in different “head exciters” and even some vibratory sleeves. Not a revolutionary concept by any means…
What IS revolutionary on the JETT is the bullets having different “tones”. One of the bullets is a “treble” vibrator (low strength vibrations) while the other is a “bass” vibrator (stronger, deep vibrations). Each one of the bullets can be set up at individual intensities, so you can combine settings until finding one you enjoy. Basically, each bullet has six intensity levels and the toy has ten patterns giving you hundreds of possible settings to obtain your hands free orgasm – and you know I LOVE variety of options!
After checking the operating manual and placing the four AA batteries needed for operation (not included), the only thing left was sliding the JETT on my little friend and prepare myself for takeoff!
I took the JET to my “Holiday vacations” and played with it on a couple of nights. It is an easy toy to put in place, given you lube your penis lightly just to allow the silicone ring to slide without issues. The bullets are a little bit louder than I expected, specially when you turn on the “bass” bullet, but the noise is easily concealed if you are using an appliance such as an A/C unit, fan, or even the TV.
Playing with the settings is maybe the best part of this toy. I selected a pattern, placed the bullets in the lowest intensity and adjusted each bullet as needed throughout the session. It felt good…, but not “mind blowing”
In the past I have commented about my hate-love relationship with vibrators. Some of them take me to the edge and do not finish me off, others simply put me to sleep, and a handful take me to leg shaking hands free orgasms. The JETT fell in the first category, keeping me hard and allowing me to enjoy the journey but rarely taking me to the promised land. In most of the occasions I ended my sessions either with my hands or by using a Fifi masturbator sleeve (my go-to travel toy). In the few times the JETT finished the task, the orgasm was underwhelming, with more a relief that the thing did not overheat than a satisfaction typical of an orgasm. For a toy hyped as the ultimate male toy, those finishes were a let down – specially considering the regular cost of this toy…
The Hot Octopuss JETT is, in my very personal opinion, an over hyped product. It is well made, with quality materials, and it does provide good sensations that will keep you excited and hard, but I know of similar products at half the cost that will give you good orgasms without draining your bank account.
Total: 17 / 25
Ease of use: 4/5
Noise level (quietness) : 2/5
Cleaning / Maintenance: 4/5