Last weekend I was talking with the son of a good friend. This young man is 20 years old and he asked my take on relationships (he knows I am a long-term bachelor) and I mentioned my status of MGTOW – which promptly brought a long discussion about MGTOW, the perceptions in society about it, and the reality of modern relationships.
For your info, I became in contact with the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) lifestyle / ideology / philosophy back in 2012 and by 2013 I was declaring myself one. I do not remember how I became in contact with it, but I do remember realizing that there was a name for way I felt at the moment about relationships and my lifestyle – one I had been living since the late 1990’s.
Now, 10 years later my initial exposure, I am in a good position to answer some Frequently Asked Questions about MGTOW. I had been asked some of these personally, others are questions I had seen in forums that I am providing my personal answer. So, if you any question about MGTOW, you have heard about it, you want to understand it, or criticize it, keep reading!
What is MGTOW?
MGTOW as you know are the initials of Men Going Their Own Way. This started as a radical offshoot of the Men Rights Activists (MRA) movement with original members frustrated about the lack of advances in obtaining changes. In 2006, the MGTOW Manifesto version 2.2 was published in a know deleted forum with goals about instilling masculinity in men, femininity in women, and working for a limited government. With time, these ideas evolved in today’s MGTOW in which we are still trying to instill masculinity in men, but also providing more emphasis on becoming positive role models for other men, support other men who are in trouble in their relationships (red pills), and demanding female accountability when needed.
Is MGTOW “hate speech”?
The short version answer is NO.
MGTOW focus on men going their own way, not on hating or diminishing other groups. Unfortunately, many men get introduced to MGTOW after traumatic events in their relationships – a restraining order, spouse / girlfriend infidelity, a nasty divorce, or some child custody battle. After any of those events, it is understandable that those men have a low opinion about women and use a “safe space” for men – MGTOW forums -, to vent out their frustrations and anger against the woman who failed them. Those posts are what media uses to categorize MGTOW as “hate speech”, but they (of course) fail to see the thousands of posts made to help and support men to get away from that anger and resentment.
Is MGTOW the same as “Incels”?
MGTOW and Incel are complete opposites. Incels (Involuntary Celibates) want to have sexual relationships and are constantly trying to woo possible partners but are rejected by their prospective lovers. With time, these individuals (men and women), become sour with society and some (mostly young men with the wrong ideas about sexuality and relationships) become angry at levels where they become violent against their rejectors.
MGTOWs on the other hand, have voluntarily removed themselves from the game. We are not seeking relationships, with many of us seeing sex as a need that can be dealt as any business transaction with a sex worker or a sex toy. Using a sports-based analogy, Incels are the players who are always on the bench and are begging the coach to allow them to play while MGTOWs are the guys who decide to not play and watch the game from the bleachers – or leave the court at all!
Are MGTOW misogynists?
In theory, we can be. The origins of MGTOW made emphasis on “instilling femininity in women” and it was the traditional type of femininity. That traditional “ideal woman” is subservient, submissive, and has no major professional / career goals which in modern times is seen as misogynistic. Still, not all MGTOW follow that mentality anymore since the focus of the lifestyle has switched to be centered on the man in the past 5-7 years. Current MGTOWs focus on living a life where their happiness is centered on themselves and their goals and not centered on trying to make a woman happy. If that is misogyny, then we are the worst kind…
Does MGTOW have any leader?
Unlike cults, philosophies, or ideologies, MGTOW has no leader, no structure, and no official creed. Every single man is the leader of his life, so every single MGTOW is a leader of the lifestyle.
That said, social media brought MGTOW to the mainstream and MGTOW content creators are seen as its leaders. Some of them like Barbarrossa has reduced his content creation, but there are others like Sandman, Turd Flinging Monkey, Better Bachelor, and Terrence Popp who in their own individual styles show others what MGTOW is and the benefits of centering on ourselves.
What is all that bullshit about “red pilled / blue pilled”?
In the so called “manosphere” the analogy of the blue and red pills is extremely common. It came from the movie The Matrix in which the main character (Neo – Keanu Reeves) is given an option to stay in the Matrix / fake world by taking the blue pill or to wake up to the reality of the world by taking the red pill. MGTOW content creators used the same analogy to represent the state of men consciousness about our society and their relationships with women. A BLUE pill man is the one who still believes the propaganda from the media about women inequality and oppression. A RED pill man is the one who has faced the reality about female nature (either good, bad, or ugly).
There are other “pill” colors added through the last number of years. These are the colors and what they represent:
- White – An idealistic / utopian view of the world
- Purple – This is a person that acknowledges the reality of our society (red pill), but still behaves as someone who ignores it (blue pill). It could be because he thinks “it wont happen to me” or because “my significant other is different”.
- Black – This is the guy who believes the only real solution is to destroy current society and start from scratch, a.k.a. “scorched earth approach”
- Why are most MGTOW content creators banned from YouTube / social media?
Basically is because criticizing feminism or women – even if you give constructive criticism supported by data and sources – is not allowed in social media. Women are seen as a “minority” and a “protected class”, so any type of criticism is prohibited even if true.
Given the state of social media, you will find most MGTOW content in what is now called “alternate media”. These are smaller competitors of YouTube (like BitChute, Odissey, Rumble), Facebook, and Twitter (Parler, Telegram). Also, MGTOW supporters had created forums and websites as depositories for MGTOW content.
So, isn’t MGTOW just “feminism for men”?
Many critics see MGTOW as a bad copy of feminism, but in reality is a response to it. It is a call to men to simply get off the game because it does not give us any real benefit.
What is your personal position about women?
Personally, I have a good opinion about women in general. I had lived and worked with great women, but the reality is that they have a nature they cannot reject – and one that men should be aware before getting in any relationship with them. They are human, with all the capability for good or bad that any man has…
I also have the opinion that the laws protecting women were needed at a given time – 30 to 40 years ago – but many are not needed at this time. Women did not have good economic prospects in the 1960’s or the 1970’s when most feminist laws were approved and implemented. Currently, women are completing college more than men, younger women in their 20’s are earning more than their male counterparts, and women have a clear path to success in jobs that before were just for men. They also have access to a larger social support net than men (just check the social welfare programs statistics) and more social support when we talk about health issues or disabilities (pink ribbons in October, anyone?).
How do you become a MGTOW?
Becoming a MGTOW is easy. There is no need of joining a secret club, paying a fee, or recite a pledge – the only thing you need is to learn about the real nature of women, the state of our society and the reality of economic disparity in our society. When you become “red pilled”, you start making decisions based on your personal benefit and centered on your individual goals and interests.
If you want to take the red pill, I recommend the following resources:
- The Red Pill (Documentary) – This was a documentary about the Men Rights Activists produced and directed by a young woman who previously had won awards for her feminism-centered work. Her idea was to produce this documentary to mock and expose the MRA’s as misogynistic, violent weirdos and after she began doing it, she realized that feminism had been lying to her. Since this documentary, she had been ostracized and basically “black balled” by the documentary circles. You can see this documentary in stream platforms like Tubi TV or Pluto TV.
- Sandman Channel (YouTube / Rumble) – Sandman had been giving “daily red pills” for years on his video channels. He remains on the “entry level”, discussing and theorizing about aspects of the female nature that you should understand if you are looking to have relationships with them.
- Redonkulas.com / Terrence Popp channels – Terrence Popp is a retired US Army Ranger who decided to use humor and crude jokes to help veterans in avoiding suicide. He realized most of the veterans’ depression issues were caused by relationship / family matters with divorce and child custody being two of the main ones. He eventually centered in MGTOW content, criticizing the current version of feminism (intersectional feminism) and the “woke movement” it has spawned. His “Wife Destitute” series in which he breaks down the cost of divorce for celebrities is a classic on its own – specially the part when he assigns a dollar value to every sex act during the marriage being discussed.