As a male sex toy reviewer who reviews sex dolls, I often receive emails from guys interested in sex dolls asking me if they should keep their interest hidden from their girlfriends / wives.
My answer is usually in the line of “You should talk about it with her. It is a great opportunity to spice up your relationship!”. I believe my own bullshit about total communication with your significant other, but I understand something about the average woman: She hates your sex doll.
Before you get your panties in a bunch and start calling me a “misogynistic cisgender male”, I have to establish that I am talking about the average woman. NOT ALL WOMEN hate sex dolls – I have met female sex doll owners in real life and the female membership in sex doll forums like The Doll Forum is constantly increasing. In fact, one of the most respected “silicone surgeons” in the community – Samara78 – is a woman.
We are in the 21st Century and people are much more accepting of kink and alternate sexual preferences, but the sad reality is that the average woman in our society is not too excited about “her man” having a silicone girlfriend. In fact, even having a Fleshlight molded after a porn star gets the same reaction!
Every week I read at least one post in the doll forums about guys having issues with their significant other because of them buying or already having a sex doll. I have spoken with doll owners having their silicone partners in a separate location like a storage unit because their wives have threatened to destroy the doll if they are in their homes. Other friends keep them in the attic or the basement, playing with them only when the wife is away or whenever they can sneak out of the vigilant eyes of their partner. Many simply had been required to choose between their toy and their significant other – even when the toy is just a pocket vagina…
Why is this still happening in 2017? Well, there are a few reasons…
Sex toys take away sex as a bargaining chip. We all are adults here, so lets be honest about this: women have used sex as a bargaining chip since the times of Adam and Eve. And we as men, will do ANYTHING for sex from a woman we find attractive. In Latin America we like to say than a pair of breasts will make a man to move mountains and that is valid today as it was valid back in the 19th century.
When a man has sex toys he enjoys – including sex dolls -, these toys reduce that power. The doll is not better than having sex with a human, but depending on the type of doll (and the imagination of the user), it can become a very close approximation. It is still masturbation, but the doll gives our brain enough stimuli to make the experience a good substitute of real sex. In that sense, the doll takes away sex as a bargaining chip because it gives the man something he wants (sex) without the commitment, negotiation, and consequences of the real act.
Sex dolls trigger ALL their insecurities. No matter how young, famous, or sexy the woman is, she always has some insecurities about her body. We can blame the “patriarchy”, marketing techniques, movies, or whatever we want to blame, but the fact remains the same: women are insecure about their bodies. Even the hottest Hollywood sex symbol has something of her body she would change if she could.
Now imagine being a woman whose boyfriend / husband gets one of these ultra realistic sex dolls. The doll was made according to the guy’s specs, so this is HIS ideal woman. She will not get fat, never get sick, and will NEVER complain about being tired. She will never develop cellulite or stretch marks. She will never get pregnant or get a STD. She is always ready for sex – in fact she was made for sex. That silicone bitch is the competition – and women hate having a competitor, specially one that flaunts a perfect figure for years without dieting or going to the gym. And talking about competition…
Sex dolls remind them they are not the only option. Women hate competition and the sex doll basically slaps their faces with it. But in addition they do something else: They tell them that they are not their man’s fantasy woman.
Most sex doll manufacturers allow you to pick between different skin colors, body shapes, faces, and eye colors. That means the doll arriving home is a representation of the owner’s ideal type – and when that doll does not look at all like the woman in his life, the reality of not being “the dream girl” hits home. They realize that their man has the fantasy of having sex with a woman from a different ethnicity, or bigger breasts, or wider hips. Again, it stirs the insecurities because women realize they are not the only one out there their man will lie their eyes on…and something else if he has the chance!
Again, not all women react like this. Some with open minds and good understanding have added male toys to their sex lives, including even sex dolls. I know two couples who have integrated dolls into their relationship and in one, the dolls saved the relationship.
Personally, I had been on both sides of the fence. A former girlfriend adopted the hobby, buying clothes and wigs for my synthetic lover and even taking the initiative of pointing me towards other dolls which were included in our sex life. Another former girlfriend told me to choose between her and my dolls. My answer? I purchased two more dolls I still have…